I'm going on holiday today! I don't really do holiday's, I'm not even leaving Wales, but it's a break.
Turns out though, I'm not really very good at taking breaks. I don't switch off or stop thinking or planning
If you follow my social media you'll know that I've been a bit ill recently too, which has forced me to take time off to recover, nearly three weeks off in fact. And it's been hell.
Okay, so hell is probably a bit melodramatic, but it wasn't fun, not just the being sick part but the not being able to work part!
It's funny really, I spend my time trying to create an environment that is relaxing, a place where people can lose themselves for a couple of hours, forget it all, do something for themselves. It's all about empowering women, letting them know that taking some time to yourself, to do something for you, is good, it's okay, it's valuable and so important...but rarely allow myself the same.
I didn't really see what good could come out of being so ill, being forced to take all this time off, missing several weekends of work, events, exhibitions, cancelling workshops and socials, not having time to get prep done for the events I have booked as soon as I get back from being away, but now I'm better, eating again, slowly getting my energy back and getting ready to spend another week away from everything, I can see some good things.
I have hated being away from wok, I've stressed about feeling as if I've let people down, I've beaten myself up for not getting stuff done sooner, despite knowing really that I had three weeks and couldn't have known I was going to get ill or for so long, but still, I'll beat myself up about it nonetheless.
Okay so none of that sounds like good stuff does it? And it's not but, what I have realised is; I worry too damn much! The sky hasn't fallen, the world is still turning, I still have my business - okay I'm skint, nearly a month without workshops isn't great but I'll get back at it. I can see areas I need to be more organsied in, and others where I need to chill the fuck out. And that's good.
It's also good for my body, I've had a few months of stress and non-stop work and it's been toxic, it made me so ill but now, I'm better then ever. My energy is coming back which is making me mentally stronger as well as physically, I am more determined, more bad ass and I'm going to make Sew Swansea fucking amazing.
I'll probably still do a little work on holiday....